If I could…

As I approach my 40th birthday, this made me start to think. If I could go back in time and start my life over again would I? And at what age would I go back to? What would I do differently? As we get older we learn about things through life lessons. I’d like to think now that I could go back to high school and be a different person, but the person I was in high school is not the same person that I am now. I’ve changed through life lessons and journeys. I’d love to go back to high school with the confidence I have now an blow off everything that bothered me back then. I wish I could tell my younger self that the high school years don’t matter, and your real friends will always be there for you (and they still are). And it doesn’t matter what party you go to. And it doesn’t matter what Susie Smith said about you. But those are things that we learn with time. I wish that I could express that to my children, and they could go through their school years knowing this, but I know it’s something they will have to also learn on their own. I look at the opportunities that I had that I blew off and I want to Yell at my younger self. But I strongly believe that everything that you go through brings you to where you’re supposed to be. Every mistake, every wrong turn, every breath you take is part of your destiny. If you turn left instead of right your entire course of life might change. Life is so precious and if I could do one thing, it would be to realize that and remember that on a daily basis. If I could go back, I would go back to 23 years old. This is the year that I met my husband and my life began. We married and had children. I would cherish each and every moment with my children, enjoy every moment of every pregnancy, spend more quality time with my kids, be more patient with them, and try to remember that each day is a gift. You never know what tomorrow will bring. But what I can do is try to remember that from now on. Remember that my children are only going to be a little for so long. I’ve watched them grow at lightning speed. So for the year 2015, I’m going to try and appreciate each day. Be more patient, be more understanding. And take in every little moment that I have with my children and husband. Because before I know it they will be off to college and have families of their own. And these times of their youth will be just a fleeting memory.