I woke up this morning with a pit in my stomach. ” Tomorrow when I wake up I’ll be officially 40, over the hill, middle aged.” I was born at 6:30 am and I hope to be sleeping still at that time. I’m not sure why, but this birthday is hitting me hard? So what are you supposed to do on the last day of your 30’s? Part of me wanted to sit in bed and watch re-runs of ‘The Real World’ and ‘90210’ and re-live my youth. I don’t FEEL 40. So I got myself out and bed and opted to go buy an outfit to wear when I celebrate my 40th birthday. Thats a good way to spend it right? Shopping is always good therapy for me. I’ve never had as hard of a time with a milestone birthday as I am with this one and I think its for many reasons. I remember growing up our parents and their friends would throw “over the hill” parties when they turned 40.These would be complete with gag gifts like walkers, diapers, dentures, toupees and black balloons everywhere signaling the end was near. And when your a kid, you believed it. 40 was ancient. I feel like I’ll have control over my bowels for at LEAST another 30 years or so, I think I’ll be able to walk for awhile still unless of course I have another crappy ski accident and I don’t plan on losing my teeth soon so why all the fuss back then? I guess it feels like its the end of my youth. No more fun, no more acting like a stupid kid, no more babies, no more drinking too many cocktails, no more concerts, no more blasting Eminem in my car. Automatic Minivan, mom jeans and a manageable haircut. But I know deep down thats not the way it is anymore. I know that 40 is the new 30. ‘Sex in The City’ taught us that. I know that people don’t throw “over the hill” parties now at 40, I know that I can still go out and have a few too many cocktails, I know that I can blast Eminem in my Flex until I’m 80 if I want, I know women have babies way into their 40’s (God bless them), and I know I’ve got quite a few concerts ahead of me this year planned already. You’re only as old as you feel. Some days I feel 40 and some days I feel 21. But I know I’ve got a whole ‘lotta living to do still. So if you see me cruising down the freeway with the windows down blaring my rap music and bopping my head, don’t judge. Appreciate the fact that you are only as young as you feel and no one can take that feeling away from you.